The Mom Diaries, Part 1: New Mom Survival Guide
Things to Purchase New
I got a kick out of the BuyBuyBaby pamphlet at my doctor's office that listed all the "must-haves" I needed to purchase from them in order to be a good mother. Ha! There's a surprisingly small number of things you need to purchase new for your baby. One of the things I've learned about since becoming a mom is how much you can save by purchasing baby items used. But here's what you shouldn't skimp on:- Car seat, if you have a car - this is an item you really should purchase new. You can purchase a used one at your peril, but make sure it is not expired, hasn't been recalled, and hasn't been in a car accident, not even a minor one. To see if something has been recalled, visit this US Government website, https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls.
- New crib - this is one thing you should purchase new, or if you are getting it used, make sure it is from a trusted source such as a friend, not from a stranger such as via Craigslist. You want to be sure it works properly and is sturdy and safe.
- Cool Mist Humidifier - make sure it's clean and that you clean it each week! I bought the one recommended on Wirecutter, and there's a helpful video there about how to clean it. https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/the-best-humidifier/
- Breastfeeding supplies - more on this later, in the feeding section
Things to Purchase New or Used
Sleeping -- for myself, Shaun, and the baby -- and feeding the baby were the two most important things that we needed to focus on during the newborn parenting days. With that in mind, here are my specific must-haves for sleeping and feeding -- as well as for some other important topics.
Sleeping
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| Baby rocking his Rock n' Play. |
I had plans to follow the American Academy of Pediatrics advice on sleeping with the baby in the same room, but not in the same bed, for the first year of the baby's life. But the baby had other plans!
The first four months of his life, he mostly slept in his Rock n' Play, bassinet, or infant swing, and occasionally on my chest after nursing. After the first few nights taking him home from the hospital, he simply wouldn't sleep in his crib, and co-sleeping wasn't an option because then I wasn't able to sleep. Here's what I recommend getting for your little sleeper:
- Crib
- Crib sheets - 2-3
- Waterproof crib sheet protector
- Pacifiers - we love the Wubba Nubs
- Arm's Reach co-sleeper or similar bassinet that can be placed next to the bed - I didn't have one of these but wish I did
- Infant swing - these aren't recommended for unsupervised sleeping, but sometimes you just have to get baby to sleep however you can, and this was one way we got a couple hours of sleep at a time
- Optional - an extra crib or Pack n' Play to put in the living room, with diaper changing station and toy mobile so that baby can "play" in this crib
Swaddles - swaddling is so important! Make your life easier and get a few of different types and experiment with what works best for your baby.
- SwaddleMe velcro swaddles for newborn to 3 months
- Love to Dream swaddles - size Small and Medium. You won't need Large because your baby will likely start to roll over before he or she reaches the weight and height limit for size large. And you have to stop swaddling once your baby starts rolling over.
- Zipadee Zip transition swaddles
- Sleep sacks such as Halo - in cotton for summer and fleece for winter
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| Adam in his Zipadee-Zip |
Sleep Training
After four months old and with doctor approval, you can start sleep training. What is sleep training? It's basically the method of teaching your baby to fall asleep on his or her own. We started soon after 4 months old and it was difficult, but so worth it. We now have a baby who sleeps 11.5-12 hours per night. Glorious, glorious sleep! Here's what I recommend for sleep training:
- The SleepEasy Solution book - worth it's weight in gold! I read several others but this one was the one we went with. There is a spectrum of sleep training theories, from "gentle, no cry" method such as the Pick Up Put Down (PUPD) method to the more strident "Cry it out" method. The PUPD method didn't really work for us and I tend to think that any sleep training method is going to involve some crying. The Sleep Easy Solution is basically the Ferber method, which is sort of a middle-ground option between "gentle" and "cry it out."
- A journal and pen - we used this instead of the template in the book to record wake ups. Keep a log so that you can track progress each night.
- Stopwatch/timer on your phone
- A video monitor with temperature monitoring
- The contact info for 1-2 sleep coaches... just in case it gets too difficult!
- Tissues!
- Earplugs, white noise machine, and/or noise-cancelling headphones for yourself and your partner
- Black out curtains - on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the darkest, you want your baby's room to be a 9-10. After purchasing black out curtains that weren't quite making it dark enough, I purchased vinyl sheets for window coverings from blackoutez.com - perfect!
- White noise machine for baby's room - you want this to be able to be loud, and reliable. Maybe get a backup battery one for travel. We use this SkipHop owl white noise machine on the same setting each night. It is good but it doesn't go really loud, and for a few weeks we needed a louder one, so we used an app on our phones.
Bedtime Routine
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| Adam loving his bedtime book. |
Starting at about 3 months old, we started implementing a bedtime routine. Even though the baby was too young to be sleep trained, we could start with this and it was helpful because by the time we were ready to sleep train, we had a routine in place to help set the baby up for success each night. We altered it slightly over the next few weeks, but finally settled on a routine that is exactly the same every night. This provides a strong cue to baby that nighttime is coming. Our routine is:
1) Say "good night" to toys, books, cat, etc
2) Nurse in the bedroom, in our nursing chair
3) Listen to 3-4 songs while nursing/snuggling (we have a bedtime playlist)
4) Read the same bedtime story book (he loves this part!)
5) Put on nighttime diaper, lotion, pajamas, and sleep sack while telling him it's time for bed repeatedly
6) Turn on white noise machine
7) Turn off the light, put him in his crib with pacifier, and leave quickly
It took a long time to figure out the right bedtime. Leading up to sleep training and after we started sleep training, I would try different bed times to see what would help. It took about 1-2 weeks of sleep training, but each night got a little tiny bit better.
Another thing that helped with leading up to sleep training was getting off the rhythm of Eat - Sleep - Play, and onto the rhythm of Eat - Play - Sleep. In other words, around month 3 or 3.5, I started trying to wean him off the strong sleep association of nursing to sleep, and instead would feed him after he woke up. Game-changer!
Websites that were helpful when sleep training (and preparing to sleep train): sleepingbaby.com,
drcraigcanapari.com, and Nurse Dani from Intermountain Moms (her videos were also helpful for questions about pregnancy and other postpartum topics).
As for naps -- that's another story. We try to follow a mini-version of the bedtime routine, and he goes right to sleep. After a couple months of him only sleeping 30-45 minutes, he is finally sleeping in longer stretches of 1-2 hours!
Eating
Breast-Feeding
- A boppy pillow - this was also useful when sitting down during the post-partum period, and is still useful while nursing 3-6 times per day!
- A comfortable chair for your "mom station"
- Milkies milk saver (better than the Haka because it fits neatly in your shirt)
- Washable nursing pads
- Nursing tops - 3 tank tops, 2-3 nightgowns (with a robe is nice), and 1-2 shirts for wearing in public, and several nursing bras
- Water bottle nearby - breast-feeding is thirsty work!
- Healthy snacks and a good book to read, ideally something that is good for quick reading sessions, such as a devotional
- Burp rags - a must!
- A nursing cover for nursing out in public
- Mother's milk tea
- Homemade lactation cookies... yum! One of the perks of being a mom is having homemade cookies only I can eat ;-)
- Oatmeal
- Flax seed
- Lots of water
- Swedish Lytle Center - and they offer a breastfeeding class in Seattle
- Nurturing Expressions in West Seattle - I like this place!
- La Leche League - I didn't use this but have heard good things
- kellymom.com - really helpful articles
Pumping Supplies
- 2 pumps, depending on how much pumping you're planning to do (I keep one at work)
- 2 ice packs and 2 ice cooler bags (if pumping and transporting to/from work)
- 4 tubes (2 for each pump)
- Milk freezer bags (lots - these cannot be reused) - these should come with adapters that work with your pump
- Bottle name tags (I like the kind that are reusable, with dry erase marker) - a must for day care
- Pump parts such as shields, adapters - experiment with what works best for you
- Bottles and nipples - several that work with your pump, plus several different ones in case your baby has preference for certain kinds
- 2 Bottle brushes (one for work)
- Bottle drying rack
- Sterilizer - I have a plastic Dr Brown's one and the Medela microwaveable bags
- Hand pump - a nice-to-have for travel, etc
I started pumping about 2-3 weeks after the baby was born. I eased into it, only pumping about once every other day. It's recommended to wait until breastfeeding is firmly established before pumping, and that was definitely the case with our little Bubba. He's always been a champ nurser.
Over the course of my 5.5 month maternity leave, I saved up approximately 100 oz of breast milk in my "freezer stash." Man, that was hard work to pump that extra milk on top of nursing full-time. But I got into a rhythm of pumping each morning after nursing. It was my hope to have a stash so that when I went back to work, there would be extra in case the milk I pumped at work was not enough. The baby went through that whole stash within 2 months of me being back at work! Even though I pump at work about 3X per day, he still needed more. I'm sure glad I saved up that stash.
Another benefit to pumping during my maternity leave was that it allowed Shaun and others to bottle-feed the baby. We introduced the bottle when the baby was 2-3 weeks old, so that Shaun could help soothe the baby by taking the occasional feeding, and so that I could get some rest. It was a win-win!
If you're pumping at work, make sure your office provides a quiet, private, clean room where you can pump. You'll want to keep a pump there, as well as supplies. I keep a water bottle, book, pump, tubes, cleaning solution, pump parts, a bag, bottle brush and sterilizer in my office pumping room. Each day I bring an ice cooler with an ice pack and 3 bottles with lids, and I take home the same each day. I also have a separate ice cooler with another ice pack and 3 more bottles with lids that I take each morning to daycare.
Solid Foods
We started solids at about 6 months old. We started slow, with one feeding per day. Shaun blends up one vegetable on the weekends and stores it in the fridge/freezer. We make everything organic and fresh, following the organic baby food book -- only the best for our little guy! Seriously, I've tasted his baby food and it is GOOD.
- Organic baby food book
- Patience :-) Sometimes you have to try a food 10X before baby catches on
- A good high chair - we use a booster seat style chair to save space
- Splat mat
- Good blender / food processor
- Baby spoons - lots
- Bibs - lots, I like the kind that are plastic. We also have one that is like a plastic shirt.
- Washcloths
- 2-3 bowls / plates
- EZPZ bowls and plates that baby can't toss / spill
- 1-2 Sippy cup or cup with straw
- 1-2 freezer cube trays with covers for storing food in freezer
- Baby bullet food storage set - this is cute and useful
Bathing
- An infant bathtub and sling / insert
- Infant tear-free soap
- Towels - 2
- Washcloths
- A couple toys - little babies don't need much
Diapers
- Diaper changing station - really useful to have one that's tall enough so that you don't have to bend over to change diapers
- Cloth vs Disposable - we went with disposable. I purchase from Target because they're 14 cents each and online has promotions. That's cheaper than Amazon and Costco! Thrifty Northwest Mom has a breakdown of diaper deals each week/month.
- Diaper pail - The kind that don't require a special diaper trash bag are the best because diaper trash bags are expensive. I followed this hack to use regular trash bags with the Diaper Genius pail.
- Diaper pad and 2-3 covers
- Washcloths to use as "pee tents" for boys
- Lotions and creams - we have several different kinds
- Toys for playing with during diapering
- Optional: wipe warmer - we used for a few months, but I don't think we really needed it
Laundry
- Dreft newborn and infant laundry soap
- Hamper for baby clothes
Day Care
Getting ready for daycare is an ordeal each morning! I leave the house with baby in front carrier, my backpack full of stuff for my day at work, and a messenger-bag style diaper bag. I drop the baby off at daycare each morning with the following things:
- Diaper bag - I use a messenger-style bag because I already wear a backpack on my back for my own things
- Sleep sack
- Milk in bottles or freezer bags, along with ice pack, in cooler bag, all labeled
- Extra bottle, labeled
- Pacifier
- Change of clothes
- Extra socks
- Also: daycare clothing labels. Label everything if you ever want to see it again!
Diapers, wipes, lotion, extra frozen milk and formula stays at daycare so I don't have to bring those each day.
Colds / Illness
Ever since Adam started daycare, he's been getting colds. The doctor said babies get an average of 6 colds in their first year, especially if in daycare. I think he's on #3 now...
- 2 nasal bulb syringes
- Nose Frida - we use this often
- Saline drops
- Boogie wipes - it's important not to use regular tissues too often because baby skin is so sensitive
- Cool mist humidifier
- Heater
- Infant tylenol
- Forehead thermometer - technology has advanced so that this is a reliable and stress-free way to measure baby's temp. For newborns under 3 months with a fever, call your doctor right away. We didn't realize it, but dressing baby up during the summer can elevate their temperature quite a bit. We also didn't realize that after 3 months old, we could give the baby infant Tylenol for a fever.
- Don't buy any infant cough syrup or menthol rub - these are not safe for babies.
Safety / Babyproofing
- Smoke alarm and carbon monoxide alarm that works reliably
- Childproof outlet plates - these are better than the outlet cover plugs, which can be pulled off and cause choking.
- Baby gates - we put one around our fireplace to prevent baby from grabbing the fireplace grate
- Cord and plug storage / concealers like this
- Window blind wraps - or just replace blinds that have cords with cordless
- Straps for furniture and TVs
- Foam mat for baby play area, so that when baby learns to roll/crawl/sit up, they're safer if they fall
- Almost everything is a safety hazard! Anything that can fit through a toilet paper roll can be a choking hazard.
- Don't dress baby in winter clothes (puffy jackets) before putting in a car seat. The straps need to be tight against baby.
- Don't leave baby in a bathtub or on the changing table unattended, not even for a second.
Clothing
I had never heard of Hanna Anderson, Robeez, Tea, or Zutanos before I was pregnant. Now it's all I think about (jk)!- Socks!
- Bunting - 1 or 2 for the wintertime
- Hats / beanies
- Jackets
- Sweaters
- Onesies
- Pants / shorts / overalls
- Sleepers / pajamas
- Booties/shoes - I like Zutanos because they don't fall off
- Mittens in case baby scratches himself
- Vacuum storage bags for storage - because it's very hard to let go of your baby's clothes once s/he grows out of them
Play and Learning
Tummy time with a newborn was tricky but there are lots of ways to make it easier. Keep trying it - a few minutes at a time, until he/she starts to build stamina. We used an exercise ball, our laps, anything to get him to spend some time on his tummy.
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| Adam and his "graduating class" of babies in our baby sign language class. |
Here are some toys and tools we've found helpful:
- Baby Sign Language class - we so totally loved our baby sign language class! We went with Hop to Signaroo in Seattle.
- Pack-n-play with toy mobile - we use this crib in the living room where baby can play during the day
- Books - these you don't need to buy new, it's so easy to get books for free or cheap at the library, little free libraries in your neighborhood, thrift stores, garage sales, or as gifts.
- Bouncer / infant chair - lifesaver!
- Activity mat with mobile for tummy time
- Baby-safe mirror
- Toys that talk / light up / move / rattle when interacted with
- Colorful blankets with different textures
- Soft blocks and balls
- Anything with baby faces on it
- Foam floor tiles
- Music - we have playlists for bedtime, quiet play, etc
- Baby story time at the library
- Mommy and Me yoga class - this has been one of my favorite things to do with the baby, starting when he was 6 weeks old and we're still going!
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| Adam and I at Mommy and Me yoga |
Out and About
- A "travel system" stroller compatible with carseat
- A jogging stroller - for us in the 'burbs, this has been a must
- Adapter for your jogging stroller that allows your carseat to fit into it. This allows you to go jogging / walking with an infant
- Ergo 360 front carrier - we like this one because after turning about 2 months old, our baby no longer liked our classic Ergo front carrier that only allowed him to face in towards us. Starting at about 4 months old, we faced him out, and he absolutely loves it.
- Diaper bag with changing mat and diaper supplies
- Car seat cover to help baby nap
- Window shades for the car
- Mirror for backseat so that you can see baby from the front seat
Baby Gear You Don't Need
- Mobile above the crib
- Crib bumpers
- Blankets, books - you'll probably receive so many of these
- Loveys - these are unsafe for baby to sleep with until 1 year old
- Swaddle blankets that don't have velcro or zippers
- A glider chair - a comfy chair that doesn't glide works fine for me
- New baby clothes - much of anything new, really
- A baby walker - these are no longer recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics due to being safety hazards and not allowing babies to develop the right muscles for walking
- Gripe water - this didn't really help our crying baby; it just seemed to make him choke
- Don't buy any infant cough syrup or menthol rub - these are not safe for babies
Apps, Books, and Resources
- Pathways - e-newsletter about developmental milestones
- The Bump - e-newsletter and app
- Zero to Three - useful e-newsletter
- Every Day Family - weekly e-newsletter
- Healthy Children - e-newsletter from American Academy of Pediatrics
- CDC Milestones app - app from the CDC about developmental milestones
- Common Sense Media
- Queen Bee Coupons - deals and coupons
- ParentMap.com - e-newsletter
- Seattle Children's Hospital e-newsletter
- Circle by Swedish - app
- Seattle Momma Doc - podcast
- PEPS! http://www.peps.org/
- Thrifty Northwest Mom - local deals
- Swedish Birth Center has "Welcome Baby" classes
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| Adam and his PEPS friends. |
- The Sleepeasy Solution - sleep training
- Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott - a witty and touching memoir
- Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy by Angela Garbes - fascinating and cutting-edge read (written in 2018)
- Expecting: Praying for Your Child's Development—Body and Soul
- Your Pregnancy, Week by Week
- Your Baby's First Year, Week by Week
- Preparing for Baby: All the Legal, Financial, Tax, and Insurance Information New and Expectant Parents Need - this was pretty helpful, and includes info on nannies
- What to Expect When Expecting
- Parenting with Love and Logic
Other Tips and Tricks
Pregnancy
- Hire a doula! Best thing I ever did. I recommend Katie of Mama Earth Doula.
- Get a doctor you trust - easier said than done, but I'm so glad I found a doctor I like
- Take childbirth classes
- Read books on childbirth and what to expect the first year of parenting
- Work on your baby shower registry
- Have a baby shower - at least 6 weeks before your due date, because baby could come early!
- Write your baby shower thank you notes before baby comes
- Birth announcements - get these done ahead of time, and then just plop the photos into the template when the time comes
- Book a newborn photographer - you want this done within the first few days after baby is born
- Get on waitlists for child care centers! Visit and interview at least 3 childcare centers, or nannies.
- Pack your hospital/birth center bag: birth plan, postpartum supplies, clothes for you and your partner, snacks, water bottle, books, visual aids, etc
- Do workout videos, classes, or just walk everyday
- Take a "babymoon" vacation with your partner
Post-partum Tips
- At the hospital, ask for extra postpartum supplies
- Sitz baths were really helpful for me
- Ask a friend to set up a MealTrain / MealBaby / Take Them a Meal registry
- Hire a maid to clean
- Hire a night nanny or postpartum doula
- Take it easy and slowly easy back into exercise
- Mommy and Me yoga was so beneficial for me postpartum
- Self-care - get your hair cut / styled
Ways Your Partner / Family / Friends Can Help You and Baby
- Diaper changes
- Set up and regularly re-fill "mom stations" with water, snacks, pacifiers, and burp rags
- Clean the dishes
- Meal prep or bring take-out
- Clean the bathroom / kitchen
- Take the baby on a walk in the stroller - Shaun would do this early in the mornings so that I could catch up on sleep. This is also beneficial for newborns to see daylight in the mornings to help with their circadian rhythm. Help baby differentiate day from night!
- Laundry
- Make sure you have a will - I like willing.com and gyst.com. I recommend a "will signing party" to which you invite 2 trusted friends or neighbors and a notary. While you're at it, you might as well also do your advance care directive (living will) and durable power of attorney documents.
- Level-term life insurance
- 529 College Savings Plan - great advice on which to use in this guide. Add a link to your baby shower registry so that others can contribute
- Credit freeze for children - even though children don't have credit cards, their identity can still be stolen. You can freeze their credit files with the 3 major credit bureaus through annualcreditreport.com.
Photography
- I highly recommend getting professional newborn photos taken within the first week after your baby is born.
- Have a good camera so that you can snap all those precious moments - a smartphone camera just doesn't cut it (at least not mine).
Precious Moments
- A baby book
- Mess-free baby footprint and handprint kit
- Baby month-by-month felt stickers
- Picture frames
Whew! I hope all this was helpful! :-)
